My Grandma Used To Say ft. Marie Kanu
The way that I honor, communicate with, remember, and celebrate my Ancestors/Egun might seem foreign to some people. It might even seem foreign to those people closest to me. It's certainly not the 'standard' way of viewing and doing things, but it's a way.
The fact of the matter is, our people have forgotten the ways of doing things the way we used to do them a very long time ago. Our elders are leaving, and the few remaining traditions have been shaped and morphed into something much different than in 'ancient' times.
Being mindful of these things, I realized that the technologies available to us can and should be used to honor those closest to us in creative ways and to build another layer of historical records of those who came before us.
You might be reading this and wondering what I'm talking about, but consider this and think about it. We come from traditions where word of mouth was the usual way to share information, which I still think has value today! We also come from a tradition where our records were not always able to be stored, resulting in the loss of ideas, properties, creations, and billions. Time stamps, proof of existence, proof of connection, and documentation that show a connection—these things bring us closer to our connectivity to those who came before and can assist in keeping the family line alive.
Even generating images and using A.I. technology to recreate and reimagine what our lost loved ones could be like today is exciting. It allows us to connect in yet another way, just like bringing traditional stories of past mythological beings and people from ancient stories to life on the big screen in the form of cartoons and movies. The difference is that we have a personal connection to these people—they are our family.
I created the avatar of my grandmother for this blog post, imagining what SHE would be saying and doing if she were sitting next to me while I explained the process of my A.I. post. I know she would understand the creative approach and appreciate it. She probably wouldn't fully comprehend the intricacies of its development, but she certainly would appreciate its significance.
I woke up around 2:20 am, the time when I usually get the urge to connect, and I just heard my grandmother's voice saying it's time to get some work done. It's time to get these thoughts flowing and share them with others. That's what my grandmother represented—sharing. All she did was work to help other things become beautiful. She would take old furniture that other people had tossed and thrown away and reinvent it when she brought it home, transforming it into something incredible and more valuable. It almost got to the point that if my grandfather was driving us somewhere, he would get annoyed because at any moment, she might just stop the vehicle and ask "Ball" to put the chairs, desk, or table in the back so she could take them home and work on them! Her house was busy, and all she did was create! She would adorn fans, make clothing, hats, upholster, crochet, sew, and redesign/repaint items with new meanings. She was doing all the makeover stuff that these YouTubers are making thousands and millions off of, almost 40 plus years ago!
Personally, I think her vision was so otherworldly that the family never truly got a chance to understand where her mind was most of the time. I see that now as an artist myself—that's probably why I spent so much time just wanting to be around her because I felt a strong connection and related to her. I don't mean to take away from any other family members, but I've heard my grandmother say, in her own words, "Baby, you are one of the ones who get it!" She reminded me and planted seeds to get me to this point of understanding. I wish I could have helped her back then to reach her dreams and goals, Bigma! I truly do. I know it would have been magnificent.
She always wanted to bring the family together, and if her creations had afforded her the riches to live the way she truly wanted, all we would have done is have family reunions every week. Truly. It broke her heart to see the lack of family connection and the conflicts that all families go through. The lesson for me in all of this is that even committing to your family has to be balanced. Balance, represented by her 26 (2+6) days, which equals 8 when turned sideways, the infinity symbol. Family was her balance. Family is all of our balance! We must begin to balance all aspects of our lives in healthy ways that don't distract from ourselves and our family members but rather bring value and support to all of us.
We have too many gifts to share and too much power to worry about control. We have to stop fighting amongst each other and realize that we are not against each other—we are only going against ourselves. By continuing the infighting, we are literally fighting within ourselves. This family should not be suffering from a lack of finances at all! We have too much talent—we have doctors, world-renowned artists, athletic geniuses, book geniuses, priests and priestesses, authors, chefs, and more!
I think this is the vision that Bigma saw but struggled with all her life (well, at least for the 30 years I listened to her speak and understand), trying to figure out how to get EVERYONE together. Now, I see the major flaw in this logical approach! We can't get ANYONE together if we don't first get ourselves together! And in doing the work to get ourselves together, we will also bring others together. It's a symbiotic relationship. It has to happen—it always does. It's the divine stitching, like a story I read to my students in 6th grade about the Chinese philosopher Mencius. His mother was a tapestry maker who wove fabrics together. These fabrics helped her earn money to support her family after her husband died. She didn't want her son to grow up and succumb to the hardships of their environment, so she believed that making these fabrics would lead to greater things for him. The story concludes with the son, due to the shift in proper environments and his mother's sacrifice, growing up to become one of China's most influential thinkers and writers.
Bigma was attempting to weave our lives together, but the resistance from years and years of family disruption, both beyond and before us, was too strong for her to break that cycle alone. It's not something that can or should be done alone because it wasn't created by one person alone. It has come from generations of our people enduring the same things over and over until it becomes a common behavior, thinking pattern, lifestyle, and culture—none of which is geared towards building community but rather dismantling it from within.
In honor of our Big Ma, we owe it to her to recognize and appreciate what she represented and lived for. Let's thank her on her birthday and let go of the problems of the past. We have a lot more challenges ahead of us, and if we aren't looking in the right directions, we will face even more. It's time for us to come together as a family and get everything in order. EEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAUUUUUHHHHHHHHH. Big Ma's famous burp! If you know, you know!
HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY BIGMA! I STILL HEAR YOU AND I'M LISTENING. DAILY!
