I've been doing my best to get back into the flow. After taking a five-year break from all things creative, I found myself in a position where I didn't know where to begin. Stagnation had set in, and things didn't feel right for some reason. I questioned every decision I was making and kept procrastinating, making excuses upon excuses. I'm not sure what happened to me after 2018. Something changed.
The birth of my son wasn't something that I thought would have this effect on me, so it felt like something else. It felt like a part of me was dying, and the arrival of my child and the major worldly changes affected by COVID-19 added even more to my apparent slump. I never thought I would have to spend so much time convincing myself to write a rhyme, take a picture, or jot down my ideas and thoughts and put them into place. It had always come naturally to me. It was what made me who I am.
So, how did I get back on track and find myself blogging here now? Well, it seems that what normally pushes people into the light is darkness. The lowest points of our lives seem to generate the most energy that compels us to get up and act on things. That's exactly what it took for me to get back into my rhythm.
My mother experienced something very real in the form of congestive heart failure. I was called to assist her during her hospitalization and recovery time. I hadn't even missed this level of work with the birth of my three children. Three months away from work was a very new thing for me, and it felt foreign. I wanted to resist, but something compelled me to accept. I didn't feel like I had much choice. If I hadn't taken the time to assist my mom during her struggles, then who would have? It had to be me. So, I did what I believe any child in a position to assist a parent would do—I helped.
During the process, I learned so many things about my mother, my family, and ultimately myself. Perseverance is what defines me. I had to lock in to assist her and finally accept this new three-month pace that I had to live with. Slowing down and reflecting on my life and where I found myself became necessary. When everything around you seems to no longer matter, a new lens and focus seem to manifest. I had to view things differently because my life required me to do so. I had so many wonderful people assisting and encouraging me, and I learned the great value of being there for others. I'm thankful for those who remained with me. They know who they are and what they mean to me. They are the reason why I was able to find my rhythm.
If there's anything that I can share with you, if you're reading this, it's this: don't lose your rhythm. The things that give you joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment should be cultivated, not severed. Keep your rhythm going