V, are you upset? No. V, do you have time to provide me with a last-minute addition for my project? No. Dad, do you want to buy me another computer for my project? No. Dwayne, do you want to be in charge of the new program that we'll be spearheading at our facility this summer? No.
I was taught that "NO" is a full sentence! I am starting to realize how powerful the word "NO" is. People may be offended by the response, regardless of the tone. It could be stated in the most pleasant way, accompanied by a gift, or typed through a computer with no way of determining expression or emotional attachment, and people will STILL feel offended. I am learning that their offense is their problem, not mine.
Neither you nor I are obligated to say "YES" to anyone about anything that we do not feel the need to say yes to. No one should have that power over you. Your full sentence is yours and yours alone. I have grown comfortable with it. It is actually quite liberating.
In the past, I have felt guilty about telling people, especially those closest to me, no when they would ask for things. I reached a point where it felt like I was constantly being asked to do something. Sometimes it would be trivial things, but other times it would be more demanding. Either way, I simply didn't always want to do things for others. I wanted to be left alone. Alone to contemplate the thoughts running through my mind and alone to complete the tasks I hadn't had a chance to do for myself. I'm sure everyone feels entitled to and experiences the same desire at times, but I am not concerned about what others think when I am grappling with my own thoughts and desires. I genuinely believe that if I am not in a good place, how can I be good for anyone else? If I don't feel like I am accomplishing things that I can be proud of, how can I be proud of anything I do for others? Maybe I am just being particular and making excuses to be alone... and? So what? If that is what my being craves in those moments, then I am entitled to it. This doesn't mean that I will no longer assist, participate, or collaborate with others. It just means that when I no longer feel the need to do so, my response and sole responsibility for preserving my own essence will always be a simple sentence - NO!